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Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, by Susan David
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The counterintuitive approach to achieving your true potential, heralded by the Harvard Business Review as a groundbreaking idea of the year.
The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive and you’ll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility—emotional agility.
Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world—their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk—that ultimately determines how successful they will become.
The way we respond to these internal experiences drives our actions, careers, relationships, happiness, health—everything that matters in our lives. As humans, we are all prone to common hooks—things like self-doubt, shame, sadness, fear, or anger—that can too easily steer us in the wrong direction. Emotionally agile people are not immune to stresses and setbacks. The key difference is that they know how to adapt, aligning their actions with their values and making small but powerful changes that lead to a lifetime of growth. Emotional agility is not about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts; it’s about holding them loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to bring the best of yourself forward.
Drawing on her deep research, decades of international consulting, and her own experience overcoming adversity after losing her father at a young age, David shows how anyone can thrive in an uncertain world by becoming more emotionally agile. To guide us, she shares four key concepts that allow us to acknowledge uncomfortable experiences while simultaneously detaching from them, thereby allowing us to embrace our core values and adjust our actions so they can move us where we truly want to go.
Written with authority, wit, and empathy, Emotional Agility serves as a road map for real behavioral change—a new way of acting that will help you reach your full potential, whoever you are and whatever you face.
- Sales Rank: #3092 in Books
- Published on: 2016-09-06
- Released on: 2016-09-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.25" h x .97" w x 6.18" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 288 pages
Review
800-CEOREAD Editors' Choice
Forbes.com Recommended Books for Creative Leaders
“A powerful book on embracing your core values, being more decisive, and committing to meaningful change.”
–Forbes.com
“Harvard’s Susan David—a psychologist, coach, and consultant—presents evidence that people need to understand and work with their negative emotions while not letting old patterns dominate their lives.”
–BizEd magazine
“Emotional Agility is filled with advice on how to live in the moment, cultivate a healthy awareness of your emotions, learn to identify what those emotions are telling you, respond to your feelings in ways that will serve you, and recognize your inherent values and goals — not only in your personal life, but also in relationships, in the workplace, and as a parent.”
–Bustle
“Emotional agility is a science-based approach that allows one to navigate life’s twists and turns, stresses and setbacks with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind.”
–Worcester Magazine
“It’s one thing to feel an emotion—it’s another to gain control over it. Susan David acknowledges the benefits of sadness, anger, guilt, and fear, and then shows us how to make sure they don’t take over our lives. This is a self-help book that might actually help.”
—Adam Grant, New York Times-bestselling author of Originals
“Susan David teaches us to understand—and to communicate in—the unspoken language of emotion to better align how we feel with what we do. Essential reading.”
—Susan Cain, New York Times-bestselling author of Quiet
“In her well-researched and cutting-edge book, Susan David shows us the virtue of being both adaptive and decisive, of learning both to navigate and stay the course. At its core, her work is a powerful and persuasive call to embrace change in our everyday lives, along with the very practical roadmap to make it happen. Emotional Agility is basically the fast-track to fulfillment.”
—Claire Shipman, New York Times-bestselling coauthor of The Confidence Code
“Susan David is a leading authority on how our thoughts, emotions, and motives can empower or derail us. Her work combines compelling research, an engaging style, and practical wisdom to show people how to create meaningful change in their lives in order to thrive.”
—Peter Salovey, president, Yale University
“One of the keys to a happy life is knowing yourself. In Emotional Agility, Susan David offers us a groundbreaking way to recognize our feelings and gives us the tools we need to avoid the emotional ruts that keep us from reaching our bigger goals. This book is a revelation for anyone looking to make lasting change in their life.”
—Gretchen Rubin, New York Times-bestselling author of The Happiness Project
“The wisdom of the author’s innovative insights is only made more impressive by its practicality. Her deep understanding of psychology is matched with clear, real-world steps to more effective leadership.”
—Helen Clark, 37th Prime Minister of New Zealand
“David proves here that no one trait is more indicative of success than the ability to collaborate gracefully with your own emotions. Learning how is the difference between a fight and a dance!”
—Marshall Goldsmith, New York Times-bestselling author of Triggers
“A compelling, inspirational, and original book about how to bring out the best in ourselves. Combining robust science, practical advice, and encouraging wisdom, Emotional Agility is a must-read.”
—Pat Mitchell, Board Chair, Sundance Institute and Editorial Director, TEDWomen
“An accessible, reader-friendly voyage. Emotional Agility can be helpful to anyone.”
—Daniel Goleman, New York Times-bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence
“At a time when it’s more difficult than ever to silence the unending noise that surrounds us, along comes Emotional Agility, a practical, science-backed guide to looking inward and living intentionally. By urging us to work with – not against – our own emotions, Susan David gives us the tools we need to be more adaptable and more resilient, so that we may not only succeed but truly thrive.”
—Arianna Huffington, New York Times-bestselling author of The Sleep Revolution
“Susan David's Emotional Agility provides fresh strategies in harnessing creativity, teamwork and growth. These components can be key in making any organization a great place to work!”
–Tony Hsieh, New York Times bestselling author of Delivering Happiness and CEO of Zappos.com, Inc.
About the Author
Susan David, Ph.D., is a psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School; cofounder and codirector of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital; and CEO of Evidence Based Psychology, a boutique business consultancy. An in-demand speaker and advisor, David has worked with the senior leadership of hundreds of major organizations, including the United Nations, Ernst & Young, and the World Economic Forum. Her work has been featured in numerous publications, including Harvard Business Review, Time, Fast Company, and The Wall Street Journal. Originally from South Africa, she lives outside Boston with her family.
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Explains the "why" but could go deeper on the "how"
By sqwirk
I wanted to love this book, but I only just liked it. I got some good pieces of information out of it, but nothing too revolutionary. The biggest takeaway is something I knew already but something that was good to read in the way the author presented it, and that's the fact that negative emotions aren't bad to have. You can learn from them and use them to guide you to living a life that's more in tune with your values and soon you'll feel less negative emotions once you're operating all on the same frequency with yourself. I wanted this book to go deeper, though. I felt the explanations of how to do something, how to help yourself really get unstuck, stopped short.
An issue I personally have is knowing what my values are...I just simply don't know them. It would have been nice if this book gave a bit more detail as to how one might be able to figure out their values, besides trial and error and listening to their emotional feedback. I value things but don't act on them, and I'm not sure if those are still things I actually value. Maybe they're just things I'd like to value, but it'd take a super big change in character for me to act on those values and I'm not sure how to do that (this book didn't help with that). Since I'm focused on those as my values, I'm ignoring whatever the hell my real values are. But without those values in place, I don't know what I'm left with. Maybe I'm a terrible person who doesn't value much? Who knows, I don't.
Labeling emotions was a helpful exercise that I took away from this book; it's good to not place blame or judgment with how you feel and let things just *be* what they are without trying to force them into something else. That said, I read this book because I know changes need to happen in my life and while I'm not going to try to force those changes, I'm still not 100% sure how to solidly guide myself into those changes. I'm well-versed with mindfulness and I know that a big element of suffering is our human tendency to attach expectations to things, and letting go of those expectations is important. Emotional Agility touches upon this, but I felt the author could again go further in explaining how one can let go. There can be a lot of emotional trauma and history that leads one to hold onto something for dear life, even if it's hurting them to do so and they're aware of that (such as a past love that has no chance of being mended back into a relationship). But just being able to let go doesn't magically happen when you know that you should do it and why you should it (but oh, how I wish that were all it took).
If a workbook based on this book was released, that would probably be extremely helpful for people, such as myself, who are still feeling stuck. I know the actions to take but I'm still weary on how to take those actions. Even if I know what step one is, I might not know how to get to step one or act upon my motivation to get myself there. There's a missing link, a disconnect, between where I'm currently at and how to start with what I want to change and embrace to ease my daily suffering with things. This is most likely my fault, not the author's fault, but if the author was willing to put together a workbook to expand on this book, I would surely purchase it. Something to get the ball rolling and help me build up the momentum of being able to get unstuck.
This book has great ideas in it, it makes sense, it just didn't get me in a position where I could do something with that information. Still a good read, and I recommend it for anywhere looking for a place to start if they're feeling like the world is against them and they can't keep their head above water.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Time Very Well Spent!
By Angela Love
I recently heard Dr. David speak at a leadership conference offered by Harvard Medical School and that’s why I purchased Emotional Agility. I was inspired by her presentation and storytelling and I just wanted more. I wasn’t disappointed. This book is written in the same humble and straightforward tone in which she speaks. She makes the information accessible and enjoyable.
As someone who works with corporate and law enforcement leaders, I’ve also been doing research and reading the literature others have referenced related to emotional intelligence, mindset, habits, mindfulness, etc., for years. What this book adds for me is the bridge between the AWARENESS of our emotions and how we habitually operate ("layering, bottling, brooding") to the power of CHOOSING how we spend our sorely taxed headspace and, perhaps more importantly, to what end. There is a practical toolkit here. I’m reading it again.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Finally, a how-to book on emotional maturity!
By Gerald S.
As a "kindergartener" in my journey toward resilience and maturity, I found a lot of hope in this book. Dr. David described a pragmatic process of seeing thoughts and emotions as they are, and recognizing that we have a choice as to how we see them, and act according to our values. My paradigm was challenged to be objectively scrutinizing what I think and feel, "labeling your thoughts and emotions and seeing them for what they are: information rather than facts or directives. This is what allows us to step out to create distance from and gain perspective on our mental processes, which then defangs their power over us.". I am going back to re-read the book and take more notes. This is a book that will help you to not dismiss or ignore "process" emotions in a healthy way.
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